Hello my dear friends -
No time for small talk! Let's get right to it... flashes first.
DON'T YOU TELL ME TO DENY IT
I'VE DONE WRONG
AND I WANNA SUFFER
FOR MY SINS
Remember last week when I mentioned that most of the 815ers' lives seemed better in the sideways timeline? Uh, scratch that for Sayid. We'd assumed he was gazing upon a picture of his wife Nadia on the rebooted flight... but it turns out that she married and has two children with Sayid's brother, Omer. D'oh! It sucks because otherwise I was really digging the kids calling him "Uncle Sayid."
Yet just because she married his bro doesn't mean Nadia's over her feelings for He of the Black Tank Top ... and vice versa. In fact, the flashes were quickly devolving into some sort of stolen glance and angst-filled rival to the Edward-Bella-Jacob triangle when Omer finally visited Sayid in the dead of the night and informed him that he was in the kind of trouble that heaps of cash can't remedy. Seems he'd taken a loan from some Bad Dudes. Cue the wheels to start spinning in all of our heads... surely it was going to be someone we knew, right? Omer says matter-of-factly, "Can you just kill these guys for me, 'cause, like, that's what you do?" and Sayid was all, "NO! Stop reducing me to nothing but a cold-blooded murderer! I have changed!!!" M'kay...
Next thing we know, Omer's in the hospital (Hi, Jack!) and Sayid's about to throw the beat-down on someone, but Nadia pleads with him to just go back and take care of the kids. When we later saw him fixing the vase -- even after he explained that its destruction was caused by a "boomerang incident" -- I was still confident that he'd already taken care of business and hoofed it back before school was out. But I was wrong. He didn't make the pain rain down on anyone just yet, and was finally able to explain to Nadia why he couldn't be with her. It's because he doesn't feel he deserves her -- he just can't get over all of that torturing in his past. The torturer is now the tortured. And... scene.
HE HAD A NASTY REPUTATION
AS A CRUEL DUDE
THEY SAID HE WAS RUTHLESS
SAID HE WAS CRUDE
I was forewarned there was going to be a surprise guest star in this episode, so I watched the first ten minutes or so with a magazine held up to block the bottom of the screen until my husband told me the credits were over. There must be too much other Lost info in my brain, because I failed to recognize Omar the thug from the freighter team when he rolled up to take Sayid on a ride to meet the Head Bad Dude, and therefore still had no idea who the Head Bad Dude might turn out to be. My best guess was Widmore.
So imagine my surprise when it turned out to be the meathead we all love to hate, Martin Keamy. Unable to hide his buffness, even when frying up eggs. Sayid could stand about two minutes of his cockiness before springing into Badass Mode, disarming the nearby goons and then pointing the gun at Keamy. And then pulling the trigger. At least Sayid got to be the one to kill Keamy in this timeline, huh?
Oh, but the surprises weren't over. There was some commotion in the freezer, and then all of us immediately starting ticking through the various characters we suspected might be in there. I was still thinking Widmore, but had Mr. Paik (Sun's dad) and Ben on my list, too -- figuring that maybe Ben was a European History teacher by day and still mixed up in sketchy stuff at night. In no way did I expect it to be Jin, though I guess I shouldn't have been surprised because with all that cash in his bag at the airport, it was pretty clear that he wasn't just planning a quick Vegas retreat.
So the flashes ended by confirming that 1) things are not coming up all puppy dogs and roses for Sayid and Jin in the No Crash timeline, and 2) that any way you slice it, Sayid's gonna kill some mo-fo's dead. I still love him, though.
There's much more to discuss in the on-Island events, so here we go...
BETTER OFF DEAD
YEAH, BETTER OFF DEAD
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
PUSHING DAISIES INSTEAD?
Sayid, no longer able to deal with all of the Others continuing to give him the stink-eye, busts into Dogen's lair and demands to know what's going on. Dogen explains that Sayid's inner pendulum has swung to the "Beyond Bad" side and that it would be best if he ceased to exist. Now, remember that when Sayid thought he was a goner back at the Swan site, he basically told Hurley that there was nothing that could save him because of all the horrible things he'd done in his life. Yet once he took a dip in the Temple's spring, died and came back to life, all of a sudden he's claiming to be a good person. Methinks he doth protest too much, and that, sadly enough, the darkness was in fact already winning out within Sayid at that point.
Dogen knew this, and so it was a total Battle Royale in that little chamber with random pots flying and shelving units crashing and broomsticks being used as defense weapons and all sorts of ninja moves. I LOVED IT. Sayid had finally met his match, and Dogen could've ended it all once he had Sayid pinned, but then that damned baseball dropped onto the floor and snapped Dogen out of his rage. At this point I must admit that I was just proud of myself for noticing how weird it was that we saw Dogen twirling that same ball a few episodes back. And then I immediately became obsessed with understanding the meaning behind it.
I started thinking it was some sort of Magic Eight Ball and when it rolled a certain way that meant something to Dogen. As we found out later, I was wrong yet again.
But before we learned the history of the baseball, Dogen and Sayid had unfinished business. Dogen was like, "I totally pwned you, but I'm letting you go so get out of here before I change my mind." Humiliated, Sayid does just that, but first he stops to tell Miles of his plans. Miles sets him straight on the fact that he was in fact dead for a full two hours, and that whatever brought him back to life was NOT the Others' magic water.
YOU KNOW, SHE'S A LITTLE BIT DANGEROUS
Around the same time, Fake Locke and Claire have left Jin back at Claire's makeshift abode (I assume) and are now standing on the ash perimeter outside the Temple. Claire's whining about not wanting to go inside and Fake Locke's like, "For the last freakin' time, do you want your kid back or not?" He reminds her that he always does what he says and notes that he's only going to hurt "the ones who don't listen." That was apparently a good enough answer for her and so she sullenly trots off.
The Others are all, "Aww, crap, HER again???" when Claire stomps onto the grounds and starts talking smack to Dogen about his penchant for speaking Japanese. She tells Dogen that "you know who" wants to see him out back, and Dogen replies, "Do you seriously think I would fall for that?" He orders Claire to be thrown in a holding pit and then taps an about-to-leave Sayid on the shoulder and says, "Remember that little brawl we had earlier today? Are you man enough to put that behind you and place yourself in harm's way to prove how 'good' you are? Yes? Excellent! Follow me."
They go back into the lair, where Dogen proceeds to pull out some sort of box that got me ALL excited because I thought it was the same weird case that Ben took out of the ventilation system last season in "The Lie." Remember that? What in the hell was in that thing?
That's definitely an answer I'm expecting to get because it was too random to have in that episode otherwise.
But anyway, Dogen's box contained some sort of magical knife and was too ornate and long to be the same thing Ben had been toting around off-Island. He tells Sayid that if he really wants to prove he's a hero, he's got to stab the guy who's "evil incarnate" through the heart before he says anything, and that this baddie is most likely going to appear to him as someone he knows who has died. Finally, Dogen made like Padma on Top Chef and ordered Sayid to "pack his knife and go."
At this point I was beside myself with fear that either Sayid or Fake Locke was going to kick the bucket. Yes, I of course prefer Real Locke to Fake Locke, but we all know that Fake Locke is still an absolute trip to watch. Then I was scared that Sayid was going to forget that Kate wasn't dead and stab her when she appeared out of nowhere in the jungle. But he didn't, phew. She continued on to finally be reunited with Claire, he paused for a drink of water, and then the wind kicked up and the ticker sound started and...
... out came Fake Locke. In that split-second my true loyalty was revealed, because I screamed at the TV, "STAB HIM YOU FOOL BOOB, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?!?!" Alas, Fake Locke got out two words before Sayid was able to act. I had interpreted Dogen's instructions literally -- meaning that if Fake Locke said anything whatsoever, then the whole plan was foiled. So that's why Sayid's stabbing attempt didn't work. I've talked to a few people who don't share that opinion -- they think maybe Sayid didn't actually hit Fake Locke's heart (we know he's had issues with his aim in the past from his assassination attempt on Little Ben), or that Dogen was just setting Sayid up, or that it was a last-ditch effort that Dogen wasn't really sure would work at all (did you notice Fake Locke didn't even bleed?). Either way, Fake Locke pulled out the knife and was like, "Really, Sayid?"
You can bet that at this point I feared the worst for Mr. Jarrah. Because here's the thing, the ABC Promo Monkeys had promised us that this episode was going to be SO CRAZY that they couldn't even show us more than three seconds of it in the previews before it aired. Therefore, I had really worked myself up into a lather and was confident that one of the main characters was going to be killed off. Since Fake Locke survived, I figured the goner had to be Sayid. Yet I was wrong AGAIN (I actually like being wrong when it comes to this show, so it's all good) and Fake Locke did nothing more than lambaste Sayid for being so gullible. "So you believed that random samurai you've known for like, what, a few days? The same guy who already tried to kill you twice? Reeeaaaal smart, Sayid, way to go. I, on the other hand, can offer you anything you want -- anything. No really, ANYTHING. Yep, even that."
TAKE MY ADVICE
AND LISTEN UP
Sayid strolls back to the Others' territory and shouts, "Hear ye, hear ye! Your man Jacob is dead, and Smokey will be coming to kill you all at sundown unless you agree to leave the Island with the man who looks and sounds like but is not John Locke. Best of luck, suckas!"
Miles try to ask Sayid what they should do next, but Sayid's on a mission and heads into the Temple. Meanwhile, Kate had found Claire and did not get quite the reaction she was expecting when she was finally able to share the good news that Aaron was safe back in the real world. Claire was all, "Hey sister, I've got bigger problems -- like this natty weave!!! And you're about to have a big problem too, in that Smokey is going to barrel through here at any moment and leave you dangling on the rope ladder, fearing for your life. Think about THAT."
AND YOU REALLY DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN
BUT IT REALLY IS THE END OF THE LINE
While Kate's getting the sinking feeling that something's not quite right about Claire, Sayid has gone to "return Dogen's knife" (that's the new code phrase for "kill people"). But first, the Lost gods put me out of my misery and revealed the meaning behind the baseball. Turns out that back in the real world, Dogen had too much to drink before picking up his son after baseball practice, crashed his car, and his son died. When Dogen said that a man showed up at the hospital and promised that he'd save his son in return for Dogen coming to the Island and never seeing the boy again, I was SURE the man was Ben, since that's pretty much exactly the same story Ben gave to Juliet to get her to come work for him on the Island (substitute "son" for "sister"). But it turns out that it was Jacob himself who drove the hard bargain with Dogen. Sayid's like, "That sucks. Now I must drown you."
I SO did not see that whole scene coming, either. Did I not just admit in the last post that Dogen was growing on me? Damn. I'll console myself with the thought that he appears to be sober and with a very much alive son in the alternate timeline. Next to be shown no mercy was Lennon, who had never really connected with me, but who I did have a moment of true sadness for after he starting crying, "What have you done!?!? Do you know what you've done!?!?!" once he found Dead Dogen in the spring.
It turns out that the ash alone wasn't enough to stop Smokey. It was Ash + Alive Dogen that was necessary to keep the Man in Black at bay (I'm not even questioning that at this point -- no energy). And the second Dogen's ticker stopped ticking, Smokey began wreaking all sorts of vengeance on the Others.
BUT WHAT I REALLY WANT TO KNOW IS
ARE YOU GONNA GO MY WAY?
Just in time for the Spectacular Smoketacular, Ilana, Lapidus, Sun and Ben arrive at the Temple. Sun gives us her requisite "Where is Jin?!!?" plea and Lapidus gives us another few snarky one-liners and then Ilana hauls everyone (plus Miles) into a secret room to wait out the mayhem. Ben tried to get Sayid to come along, and let me just tell you that I was ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that Sayid was going to kill Ben right then and there. Remember, I was still under the impression that something SO CRAZY was going to go down in this episode because of that freakin' non-preview. Instead, Ben told Sayid that there was still time to escape, which led to the #1 Freakiest Moment of the Night: Sayid's haunting "Not for me." I can barely even stand to look at this screencap, his face is just so creepy. Aaaahhhhh!!!!
So the splinter group of good guys is in the depths of the Temple, Jin's presumably still in the jungle with a gaping ankle wound, Jack and Hurley are probably on their way back from the lighthouse, Richard is MIA, Sawyer is MIA (remember, last we saw of him he'd agreed to "get the hell of this rock" with Fake Locke), and Kate... oops. See what happens when you change up your routine and DON'T tag along with Jack, girl? You get thrown in with a bunch of undead freaks, fraidy-cat Others and Evil Incarnate himself, aka Fake Locke. I have to say that Kate's face when she realized what she'd gotten herself into was one of the only light points in an otherwise extremely tense hour.
What was just as interesting was Fake Locke's reaction to seeing her among his troops. Here are the progressions of his face: 1) What tha? 2) Oh, this is precious. 3) Hmm, could she be trouble? 4) Nah, she's just a girl. Maybe I could even use her as Jack or Sawyer Bait if need be. That seemed to work for my friends the Others back on the Hydra, I do believe.
They all marched off of the grounds in slo-mo, set to a way-too-unnerving version of Claire's "Catch a Falling Star." When I realized exactly what it was I was hearing, I got chills.
YOU MUST NOT KNOW 'BOUT ME
YOU MUST NOT KNOW 'BOUT ME
So before I wrap things up, let's talk about who's good, who's bad, and who's something that we can't quite put our finger on yet. Here's where I stand: I think the Man in Black/Fake Locke is bad. I think Dogen calling him "evil incarnate" is the closest this show is ever going to come to hinting that he is actually Satan, the Devil, Beelzebub, or whatever you want to call him. In no way do I believe that we'll ever actually learn his "name." We don't really need to. We just need to make up our minds whether or not we think he's the bad guy, and I've made up my mind.
Here's exactly why I think the Man in Black is "bad": 1) He's Smokey. Smokey's killed a lot of people just for the hell of it at this point. 2) He offered Sayid "anything he wanted," but in exchange for an evil act. 3) He's a very slick talker -- claiming to always "do what he says" and all that. I'm not the most religious person in the world, but I'm pretty sure that those are some of the devil's traits as well... spinning lies that sound like the truth. 4) He's saying he wants to "go home" and leave the Island, but since we know he's extremely old, there's no way he has any sort of off-Island life to return to. I think the only way he can break free of whatever took him out of his original form is to destroy the Island. He probably just wants to die at this point. 5) He is clearly trying to pick off Jacob's Chosen Ones. 6) This face:
7) And this face:
As for Jacob, well, I'm not so sure. I don't think he's supposed to be God or anything like that, nor do I believe that he's supposed to represent 100% Goodness, Not from Concentrate. For those who draw parallels between the deal Fake Locke made Sayid and the deal Jacob made Dogen, I say: Fake Locke required an act of evil (killing Dogen) in return for Sayid to get something that HE wanted -- something selfish. Jacob required Dogen to perform a selfless act (coming to the Island) in order to save someone else. Yes, it still put Dogen in an awful situation, but once again, to draw parallels to the Bible, there were a whole lot of sacrifices that had to be made by those who were following someone who they weren't even really sure existed. That's basically the definition of "faith." Plus, to be totally practical, I just can't fathom that the writers would have this evil awful guy be the one to bring our Losties to the Island. I have to believe that Jacob knew they were special and that whatever they did on the Island would have the most positive impact on the world at large, versus if they never crashed there at all.
BEST LINES OF THE EPISODE
MILES: You know the blonde? One that had the baby?
MILES: Right. Claire. She just strolled in here a couple hours ago, acting all weird. Still hot though.
KEAMY: I make good eggs!
I really, really enjoyed this episode. Here's hoping for more of the same next week!